Sometimes in social situations I feel so disconnected from everyone. Even in a room full of people I know and love. I don't even know why I feel anxious.
All I do know is that a room full of people makes me feel as if there is too much going on and I can't process it. Imagine having 10 people talking at you all at once it's something like that. Only no one is talking to me.
Anxiety hits. My head feel like it's full of fluff. As if I literally have nothing to say. I know I am being quiet and that quietness is interpreted as being snobby or rude so I replay things to say in my head. They always come out so awkward. Thus compounding the awkward factor times one hundred.
Sometimes a well meaning person will come up to me and say something along the lines of 'You look uncomfortable.' Why on earth do they do this? I know how I look. Do you tell an overweight person they are fat? No...you don't. It doesn't help. It makes them feel upset and the same goes for people with anxiety.
This is making me sound decidedly fucked up (sorry mum). I'm fine really. I'm sharing this because from conversations with my girlfriends I know that I am by no means alone. It saddens me that so many of us having these experiences on a daily basis.
My hope is that the above helps you to feel connected and less alone if you are feeling down or anxious.
In my next post I'll share what I do to manage my moods and minimise the frequency that I experience anxiety.